Musings on Relationships and Employment

As I've stated in previous entries, feelings of paranoia and stress has always been a commonality for me when starting a relationship. I used to worry myself to no end about the state of the relationship, and would go crazy trying to figure out what my counterpart felt or thought. I am infinitely grateful that this is not currently the case, and I have finally figured out why it is so. I've cited communication as a factor before, but I'd like to introduce two new elements: trust and reciprocation.

Trust is an aspect that has been present in my previous relationships, but always took a decent amount of time to manifest and solidify. Whether it be because of the preceding friendship or just a strong bond of communication, I find that trust was/is very easy to obtain in my current relationship, and I'm quite certain that that goes for both of us.

Reciprocation of feelings and effort is also something that always existed in the past to some degree, but never as much and as early on. Almost always, I was the one putting so much into the relationship, at least at first, and often times later on as well. While I didn't necessarily mind at the time, I have come to realize that full reciprocation is a wonderful thing, and frankly, I shouldn't have settled for half-assed reciprocation in the past. I'm quite glad that I no longer have to.

Switching topics a bit, I really do hate the see other people's relationships fail. Especially in instances where they could have been fixed. Or even more so when the relationship shouldn't have happened in the first place. If something doesn't click, I don't believe it should be forced, no matter how much anyone wants it to. Life is too short to cut your own puzzle pieces. Find one that fits and you'll be much better off. And much happier.

I have a strong desire to find a new job. I've been at Target for two years now, and even working there one day a week is too much for me. I do enjoy (most of) the people who work there, but I cannot stand the environment and the physical appearance of the store. It's too familiar to me. I've seen sections alternate and change many times. I'm coming up on my third Halloween there. I've eaten in bland, grey break room more times that I care to count. I find it odd that I'm still quite dedicated to my work, but I feel infinitely confident that I could be so much more dedicated somewhere else. Now I just have to make the initiative to find that 'somewhere else'.