Post-Birthday Musings

Well after waking up from 7 hours of sleep that started at 5:15am, I'm pretty sure I can deem my birthday a success (both weekend that I've celebrated), and this weekend has just started. It's nice to know that good people aren't as hard to come by as it sometimes seems.

So I've realized that my dislike for lack of self control in people stems into also disliking when people are easily influenced. Not such much with trivial things, but with things that actually matter. I feel like those are people who I would distance myself from, and I feel like that is going to happen.

I also received some good news today. And good news is good.

Also, I find awkwardness to be funny in retrospect.

Offense, Success, and My Outlook on Marijuana

Wow, I didn't even realize until now that I hadn't posted anything all week. Because of that, there's a few things that have been on my mind.

First off, something happened the other day, and I don't know the last time it happened before that. I was offended. I really don't remember the last time it happened because it's definitely not easy to offended me. Annoying me or making me mad is one thing (even though I tend to let most things slide, besides a few specific issues), but offending me is quite the feat. I'm not going to bother mentioning who it was or what happened specifically, because that really doesn't matter, but I'll just say that it was the way that I was spoken to that really caught me off guard. I don't think it's right for person #1 to speak for person #2, especially when they are both present, and it just makes person #1 seem like a controlling, passive-aggressive ( and maybe even pretentious) person, which they very well may be.

On a much different note, I'd like to speak of success. I have a friend (see "Two Tributes") who is in the process of overcoming a very difficult obstacle, and is progressing extremely well. One of the few things that I admire more than strong effort is an honest success. I just wanted to take this time to express to this person how proud I am of them for what they are doing.

My final musing, in light of tomorrow being 4/20, is on marijuana. While I'm not against it (I'll get to that in a bit), I do think the concept of a "holiday" for it is quite pointless. If you're going to smoke, just do it. Why do you need to mark a day on the calendar for it when you probably do it at least several other times during the year anyway. It doesn't make it any more legal, and it doesn't give you a better high just because it's on a certain day ( maybe the position of the sun and the planets and their gravitational pull on your brain...?). If you're going to smoke, then smoke. I just don't understand why you need to have some celebratory day in marijuana's honor. In my opinion, if you care about it that much, you might want to reevaluate your life and/or check your priorities. In the words of the Human Torch, flame on. Seriously though, I welcome responses to this, whatever your opinion is.

Since I brought this topic up, I figured I'd share my ideas on the actual idea of weed in general. Let's start with the facts. I've never smoked it, and never will. However, it's for a unique reason that is different from most people who don't smoke, yet it's probably a lot more basic. I just don't like the concept of smoking things. The idea of inhaling foreign substances into my lungs isn't exactly my idea of fun. Smoke me up some ham or cheese, but don't bother trying to pass me a joint.

However, as I said before, I'm not against weed completely. Though I have yet to, I have no problem with ingesting it in a non-smoked form. So if you're baking up a batch of you're special brownies, throw a party and I'll probably come down. I'm in no rush though, so if this doesn't happen for a while, that's all well and good.

Happy Pointless Nonexistent Holiday Everyone!

Lighter Notes (Ambient Rock, Technical Death Metal, and Parenthesis)

I find it funny when people are surprised about the music that I listen to. I guess I'm "known" for listening to metal, or maybe I just give off that vibe (?), but people are always shocked to believe that I listen to other types of music too. I guess because they see a lot of the music that I listen to as drastically different from the rest, which I guess it is in a way, but it's all enjoyable nonetheless. A friend at school the other day was very surprised when he found out that I listen to Death Cab For Cutie. That doesn't mean that I can't listen to Necrophagist too. Ambient rock and technical death metal are extremely different (obviously), but that doesn't really matter to me if it sounds pleasing coming through my headphones or speakers.

I've often used to say that I dislike untalented music, but recently I've rephrased that; I dislike distasteful music. Music that is either overly simple or too complicated (of course, based on my own opinion) are two factors that push me away from listening to certain bands. People who are familiar with the two bands that I mentioned earlier (Death Cab For Cutie and Necrophagist) might claim that the fit into those two categories respectively, but I disagree. I do not have a reason why, except that I simply find both bands (and many on the spectrum in between) to be very listenable and talented in their own way. Death Cab can generate a huge amount of feeling and emotion out of the simplest guitar chords and drum beats, while Necrophagist can blow my mind with the sheer speed and technicality that they play. Each is different to listen to, but equally satisfying.

I've also been in a parenthesis phase (can you tell?), and I find that amusing as well, because I never realized how important or useful they are. They're like little pockets that you can stuff with information and put it basically wherever you want in a sentence, provided that the sentence still makes sense and the purpose of your it isn't diluted. Whenever I read something that has parenthesis, I always imagine the author changing their tone of voice (or at least the tone of the reading voice in my head changes), which really helps me to get more out of what I'm reading. By sticking words in parenthesis, you can completely alter how a reader perceives and comprehends what you're saying. By sticking words in parenthesis, you can completely alter how a reader perceives (and comprehends) what you're saying. That probably wasn't the best example, but, to me, it put different emphasis on the words "perceives" and "comprehends". Reading this back, I feel like I just tried to each a lesson on grammar. Mental note: Musings probably should not include grammar lessons.

The Reason of Happenings

I have said for a long time that I believe that "everything happens for a reason" and only today did I figure out that this was false. If I say that "everything happens for a reason", that statement assumes the existence of fate, which would then really mean that "everything in the chronology of existence and being has a purpose for happening". Since I do not believe in a definite predetermination of actions, I, therefore, do not agree with the first statement.

Instead, I offer the alternative saying of "We should make all happenings have a reason". This means that while all things that happen may not have a reason for happening (because they are not predetermined), we should live our lives in a way that we learn from all of our actions, the actions of others, and the events that happen around us. In this way, we make our own reasons (our learning experiences) for all things that happen. We should not let the world pass us by and not use it's events to our advantage. Through this process, we can forward our intelligence, our personal morality, and our relationships with others. I believe that these three factors are the core of our mental (and physical) existence, so their maintenance through "making all happenings have a reason" is surely crucial to a happy existence.

A Slightly Cynical View of the Term "American"

I was involved in a discussion today in one of my classes about what it means to be an American. Some people felt that it meant to be involved in the American system (politics, the economy) and others felt that it simply meant to live here. I feel like if you do #2, you're probably doing #1, although I guess that isn't the case 100% of the time. I've met others who relate being an American to appreciating freedom and taking pride in your country and all that, but I feel like that's just a narrow and extremely subjective of it.

I take the title "American" fairly lightly, because all it really means to me is that I live here. Sure I enjoy a lot of freedom which I definitely value, but to me that's more of just valuing my own human rights. I guess you could say that being an American is valuing that you aren't oppressed, but everyone, including Americans, are oppressed in some way or another. We all answer to some form of authority, and we all have to engage in actions that we do not wish to do at some point in our lives, whether we are rich, poor, white, black, hispanic or whatever. Authority in this sense can be good for maintaining social order and all that, but we are still "oppressed" nonetheless, even if it is in a lighter sense of the word than we are used to. I don't really have a clear answer to what it means to be an American (I welcome answers to this) but I know that everyone's answer is probably different.

To me it's basically just a label for the country that I live in, and while I value my personal freedoms here, people in many other countries enjoy these freedoms too, and I honestly don't see what would make us better than them. Sure we have a very mixed culture, but some would argue that this is a bad thing. I personally enjoy the mix most of the time, but then again, I haven't really experienced the alternative because I've lived here all my life. Once I take my eventual trip to Sweden (and hopefully more of Europe), then maybe I'll reflect back on this.

Sleep and Dreams

I've been saying this a lot lately, but I value my sleep a lot. I would say i value it way too much, but I believe that it is overall a good thing to value. I do value it too much under certain circumstances, such as when i have work that needs to be done and I decide that I need to go to sleep, but in the long run I think that this trait is beneficial. Making sure that I get a minimum of 6 hours of sleep a night (usually more) is a bit difficult sometimes, but I feel like it effects me positively in my mood and daily motivation. Like most people, I get irritable when I am lacking in sleep (ironically, I am right now), so why put myself in this situation when I can just get a good night sleep if I use a little initiative. Last night is an exception, because I got a good amount of sleep, I just didn't sleep that well.

Sleep has always interested me. As a child, I always tried to find that moment where I went from "awake" to "not awake", but I realized after a while that it was impossible to consciously do so. Dreams are also an interesting topic, but reading Freud has shed some light on that, even if it is a light of speculation and not fact. This morning I woke up and recalled the dream I had last night, and attributed each part of the dream to something going on in my life or an event that happened in the recent past, almost as if it was second nature or (Freud humor) unconscious. I'd like to think that Freudian methods haven't ingrained themselves into my unconscious, as I'm still not sure if I agree with them, but it's at least good to be informed and aware of Freud's speculative ideas.

Self Inflicted Helplessness

I have nothing against people who need help (I actually enjoy helping these people) but I do have an issue when people ACT helpless. There are many people out there making a valiant effort to control their lives and progress (as noted in my last entry), so it really puzzles me that so many people act as if there is nothing that can be done about their problems. Even when it comes to simple tasks, some people have become so attached to the idea that they are incapable, that they need others to cater to them in every way. Obviously you aren't going to succeed if you don't attempt in the first place. We all need to understand that we have to help ourselves before others can support us. I'm fortunate enough to know a good amount of people who live by this, but many others that I encounter are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

This was not influenced by any one person, but is actually a "bigger picture" thought that is influenced by the people I encounter while working in retail. There are people who I personally know that should take this message to heart, but not many that I currently speak to for this reason specifically.

Those in need should always met with an outstretched hand if they choose to accept it, but those who look for the outstretched hand to shield them from reality and live their life for them need to stretch out their own hand for a slap on the wrist. Or maybe just chop their arm off entirely. *cue angelic smiley*

Two Tributes (A Commendation and The Importance of the Individual)

Well now that I have some time, I can address a few different topics that have been in my thoughts lately. As I had said previous, one topic is a person that I personally know, and the other topic is a person that I have only read about.

The person who I know (who will not be named here) is someone I have not known for very long, but who I know a decent amount about. I see them as being above many other people in terms of intelligence and common sense for numerous reasons, but specifically for this: they may not be 100% in control of their life (are any of us fully?), but they at least make an intelligent effort to be on the right track, and they think of their life on a long term scale. It seems like this may be a fairly new way of thinking for them (I could be wrong about that), but I definitely and wholeheartedly commend them for making a step that many others are unable to make.

The second person is a man named John Stuart Mill. After studying his writings in one of my classes, I really connected with what he had to say. Mill stresses the importance of the individual in society, and claims that everyone should question the customs and traditions of their culture. If they find that those customs are right for them, they should, by all means, follow them, but if they do not feel that the customs fit in their lives, they should break away and find their own way of living.

Mill definitely valued the human mind, as he speaks about exercising it thoroughly. When an individual blindly follows the customs of another individual, he is simply conforming without question, and, in turn, not exercising his mind. When an individual questions and searches, he uses his powers of reason and deduction. He believed that there should be complete freewill of action and thought, as long as you do not impose the rights of others.

If the individual does not exercise their mind, then what reason is there for human existence? By breaking away from tradition, we are able to conceive new theories and ideas. Human progress is possible because of those who choose not to follow the norm. If we were all to conform, we should see no need to change the world around us. As Mill said, "...All good things which exist are the fruits of originality".