Ah Life.

Didn't even realize that I haven't updated this in a week. It's been with good reason though, as I've been busy. Not busy in a bad way though. Not at all. I would write out everything that's happened, but I feel like everyone who needs to know what's been going on does. I will say though, that I am quite content with life at the moment.

There are several issues, unrelated to personal things, that I wanted to write about, but those will be saved for a later date. Right now I'm going to savor the eve of my day off from work.

A Rare Sting of Boredom

This is the first night in a while that I'm actually extremely bored. There is literally no one around, and I'm baffed as to why. I really hope that my week will get more exciting, although I'm quite sure that it will. That's about it for now, as I am off to attempt to deal with this mundane situation by doing something constructive.

Irony, Handcuffs, Transition

I'm glad today is Saturday, because I needed a day off from work.

Various situations of irony have consumed my life and I find it hilarious. Well maybe not consumed, but they're definitely present.

Completely unrelated, one of my managers was taken out in handcuffs from work yesterday. I didn't quite get the full story, but the story that I heard from a very reliable source makes me a bit sad. I wasn't really friends with him, but I knew him and conversed with him on a regular basis in an acquaintance sort of way, and had established in my head that he seemed to be a genuinely good person. A real family man, who may have not loved his job, but wouldn't even think about quitting unless he found a better opportunity to provide for his wife and kids. Maybe that's related to why he was arrested. Without the full story, it's difficult to judge a motive though, so I won't take this any further at the moment.

At band practice last night, I realized something. The whole band is finally coming together as more than just band members but as friends. This type of transition first occured to me in my first band, when we recruited a vocalist. At first, he would just come to practice, and all conversations between him and the band would be music related. After several months of being in the band, he assimilated into our group of friends, and stopped being just our vocalist. The same has happened in my current band. When I first joined, I was just the new drummer, but soon after, I actually became friends with the rest of the band, and hung out with them outside band practice. It seems like this process is solidifying with our new guitarist. This kind of stuff makes me fell confident in the band overall, and I honestly feel like it affects the music positively as well.

I'm also currently reading a book called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. It's apparently somewhat popular, but I just started reading it because of a recommendation from a friend. I'm not far into it yet, but I'll probably update with my thoughts on it later on.

Life Update

Well...where to start. So many things have happened recently. To start, I am no longer in a relationship for the first time in the last two years, and the majority of the last three. I'm not terribly disappointed, in fact I'm very glad that it ended the way it did, because it could have ended much worse. I am slightly bummed (for lack of a better word), but I'm definite filled with positive expectations for the future. These last two years were great, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. What had to happen happened, and there's no reason to live in the past. I'll definitely miss certain aspects, but I can't let these kinds of things pull me down like I've let happen in the past. I can definitely say though, that I've learned a lot, and wouldn't trade the last two years for anything.

In other news, I feel like the factor that inhibits my writing here (see three posts or so ago) is being worked on. That factor is simply that I often have a hard time explaining what I'm thinking in verbal or text form. It makes sense in my head, but I can't quite transfer it to a public realm. I can't really explain how I'm working on it, but I just have a hunch that it is and will become easier as I continue write here.

This isn't quite as important as everything else, but I also got a new computer, which I'm currently on. It's quite awesome, with it's obnoxiously large 23 inch widescreen monitor. I had my previous computer for five years before it finally died out, so I'd say I was definitely in need of a new one.

I'm also in the mindset to catch up with old friends. It just seems like the time to do so. I really don't have a clear idea of who exactly, but I'll figure that out at some point later.

I had a recent headdesk moment, it actually probably deserve two headdesks, but I'm extremely glad that I could clear it up and that the person involved was so understanding about it. Thanks.

I guess that's about it for now. Time to go play around with my new computer :-D

Change

Stuff has settled. Changes have been made. Lets see where it takes me. I'll elaborate on this much more soon.

Lack of Clever Title

So many things going on. And even more things going on in my head. I guess I could probably update better once it's all sorted out, which I have a feeling will be very soon. An ultimatum is close.

Vagueness, Fear, Positivity

There is so much currently on my mind. As I try to gather it all together, there's one thing I realized. I cannot write 100% freely here. That fact has been in the back of my head for a while, but I've only actually admitted it recently.  There is one specific factor that prevents me from doing so. If that factor were to disappear, I feel like I would write much more than just musings and daily activities. But currently, it is in place, and my writing will remain partially stifled, whether I like it or not. 

The last few days have been rough. Nothing really has happened that was all that overwhelming, I'm actually sad to say it's something that I'm partially used to, but it has been mentally exausting nonetheless. I also realized that I no longer have an outlet (specifically a person) to vent these types of issus to. As generally as I'm speaking there, I'm talking about a specific issue, and in the past I've had a person to discuss this specific type of issue with. I currently have anyone currently to with I can talk about this, or at least not someone who is at the same level that previous ones were at. This lacking is not something that is extremely important, but I'm just not used to it. I appologize for vagueness, but please refer to the above paragraph. 

Something else that I've been thinking about is that, while the last few days have been rough, I'm currently in a particularly good mood. While this may seem like a good thing, which it very well may be, it still causes me to really think about my current situation, and how/why I'm happy during a rough time. 

I'm pretty sure I've also figured out my two biggest fears. Number 1: A problem I can't solve. Number 2: Change. I've known Number 1 for a while now, but I seem to keep reinforcing it. I find it extremely difficult to back off from a problem until I solve it, even if it sometimes makes the problem worse by doing so. As for Number 2, Change is a fairly common fear, but I never really though it was something I was afraid of until recently. Ironically enough, though, I can now see it in multiple aspects of my life. Even more ironic, I usually enjoy change after it happens, but actually mustering up the courage to fulfill it is what I get hung up on. Maybe I just taught myself a lesson by writing that. 

Overall, with all that's going on, I'm not scared for once. At least not at the moment. I feel like it changes every once in a while, but I currently have no fear of the near future whatsoever. While I really don't know how things are going to turn out, I welcome the future either way. I've learned to focus on the positive aspects of life when the negative ones show up, and I have way to many positive aspects right now to let something negative pull me down, no matter how big or significant it may be.

Reading this back, I think it's my longest blog to date. It's also the most in depth and person, with is ironic when you read back my first paragraph.