While driving tonight I was considering the concept of effort. "Points for effort" is an expression that I hear from time to time, and it occurred to me...why would someone get praise for something they didn't accomplish? It's one thing to say "Oh it's ok, you'll get it next time" as a way of lightening the disheartening mood of not accomplishing or winning something, but the idea of praising for it seems a bit dangerous to me.
One idea, or at least in a situation where it is a parent and a child, the parent may give the child more credit than they deserve as a means of comfort. While I'm not saying not to comfort the child (in fact I believe that they should be comforted) this praise for failure may lull the child into a false sense of security, and they may end up believing that failure isn't so bad, which could lead to a rude awakening later in life. I'm not saying that any of this is probable (or improbable), but simply that it is possible that failure in our society is being downplayed in order to shelter the feelings of our children.If failure is downplayed, and our future generations believe that failure is simply a signal to press the reset button, then this issue may need to be ironed out.
After rereading this, it seems like I'm calling for an end to giving "points for effort", which is not what I'm trying to say at all. Giving praise can motivate a child, or anyone really, to put forth more effort in future attempts, and may give them the boost they need to exceed. We just can't give so much praise for failure that a child feels that failure on a larger scale is something that does not warrant concern, because then they will not be motivated to succeed in successive attempts, or may not even make successive attempts.
I believe that everything does happen for a reason, or at least that we should think that way when considering events. If a task is not accomplished the first time, then it serves as more of a motivation to complete it the second time.
This musing seems somewhat odd to me as I read it back, but I'm quite tired.
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I think we just need to watch the "All or Nothing" attitude some parents take with their children. That can be more damaging than being contented with mediocrity.
ReplyDeletePraise should absolutely be given when someone "tries their hardest." It may be hard to judge sometimes, but exceptional effort in the face of failure should absolutely be rewarded. Otherwise, a child might be disenchanted into pursuing only activities with a sure chance of success.