No One Is As Lucky As Us.

I'm really trying to keep this updated, but it's quite difficult since the semester is winding down. So many final papers and projects to do.

I was sick for the majority of Thanksgiving break. I'll elaborate on this later though, once I'm sure everything has blown over, since I want to write an in depth and pretty deep blog regarding this.

I had an odd experience today. I ventured to a place I hadn't been in years. It wasn't necessarily by choice, but more so by necessity. I went to the place in an entirely different context that I used to, and it really changed the entire atmosphere of being there. It wasn't necessarily awkward or unsettling, just odd. It also caused me to reflect on my past memories of the place, and question them in a different light.

I really dislike when people don't put in effort to something that they chose to do. Especially when others around them are putting in so much. It really is unfair. I can't say that I won't feel happy and satisfied when it comes back to haunt you.

People cannot drive. /end condensed yet forceful rant

Blueberry muffin poptarts = new favorite breakfast food. Go try them. Epic noms.

Paramore is amazing at making Mondays seem better.

Since when is Brand New a post-rock band? Some of the songs on their new album are almost listenable. Almost.

My girlfriend = amazing. For many, many reasons. The specific one I'm choosing to emphasize right now is that she takes care of me when I'm sick. Even if it means developing a horribly erratic sleep schedule for an extended week. Love <3.

All The World's A Stage And We Are Home Again

I apologize to anyone who actually reads this for not updating in a long while. I've been so insanely busy, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I just haven't had time to update. There's so much to say, so I'm hoping that I can remember everything and get it all down.

First off, the semester is coming to a close. Thanksgiving weekend starts tomorrow night. I've finished the majority of my work for the semester, although I have some large final assignments to tackle. This semester flowed a lot more smoothly then I originally thought it would, but I am in no way complaining. I've spent a lot more time doing work than in previous semesters (which was even observed by my father, but we shall talk about him later), but the important thing is that I'm trekking through it. I wish I could have seen some friendly faces more often, but I will make it a point to do some catching up over Christmas break.

Since Thanksgiving weekend is almost upon us, that means that Black Friday is right behind it. I'm not happy at all that I have to be at work at 4:30am (or be up at 3:30am), but I'm even less happy about the concept of Black Friday. Blatant and rampant materialism and consumerism. I'm not going to get all political, as I hate politics to no end, but the whole concept of Black Friday just bugs me. Getting up at ungodly hours for a "good" deal. *headdesk*

After almost having completed a full year's worth of Art and the World, I'm walking away from it with a considerably larger knowledge of art than I walked into it with. I can't say I really enjoy the class (or the passive-aggressive teacher) very much, but it is informative, and she is definitely knowledgeable about the subject. However, I feel like I'm walking away from the class with something I didn't expect to get out of it: a solidified atheism.

I wasn't brought up in a religious household, but I've had a fair amount of experience with many religions, specifically Christianity. I've been an Agnostic for a long time, years, but never really a convinced atheist. It's not that I really had any desire to believe in a higher being, I just never made an attempt to approve or disprove it. I was an apathetic agnostic, if you will. But after sitting through Art and the World and seeing the formation of the Christian religion, it really, almost unconsciously, showed me how bogus the Christian religion is. I've read plenty about the lack of facts and the hypocrisy that is involved with it, I agreed with almost all of it, had debates and deep conversations about it, but I always kept an open mind. It seems like my mind has finally decided to shut. Or almost. I can't say that I really have a closed mind about anything (or very few things at least), but I'm pretty sure that my mind is pretty set at the moment.

My relationship with my father has never been good for very long. It has been stable at best, enjoyable in very small quantities, and overall not a pleasant experience. I've never really spoken about this subject openly, short of a few people, but I think expressing it in this outlet will do me good. I'm going to spare the details for the honest reason that they are irrelevant to me. Simply put, we do not get along. It used to just be him walking all over me. For a long time. Then I grew up. Within the past five years, it dawned on me, and I decided to stop taking his ridiculousness. As with the end of all power regimes, there was resistance. A resistance that continues until the present day. He resisted my mother when she stood up for herself, and he has done the same to me.

I can't say I have a great relationship with my mother either, as I definitely don't, but it includes a different type of dysfunction. My father makes mistakes and tries to cover them up and justify them to himself by offering bribes. My mother makes mistakes and begs pathetically for forgiveness. The latter is the lesser of two evils I suppose, but neither is very appetizing.

My musical tastes have been changing. They have been for a while. I'm still listening to a good amount of metal, but I've moving more and more towards the progressive side. I've also been listening to a lot more rock and even a little bit of pop. I got into metal for stereotypical reasons. I though life sucked, people sucked, and that loud, raw music was the perfect outlet. And it was. But now that I'm maturing, I have other musical needs. Metal will always be my genre of choice, but my specific preferences are evolving. To cite specifics, Devin Townsend has been one of my favorite musicians for a while now. With the release of his latest album, Addicted, the title could be used as a very adequate description of my opinion towards it. It's an amazing album, and is metal at heart, but draws on so many different types of influences, it's mind boggling. Metal, rock, pop, country, electronica, dance. It has everything. The man is a damn genius.

Last and most certainly not least. My girlfriend. Oh what to say. Tis been almost four months now, and it has been my most successful and gratifying relationship to date. By a long shot. That really blows my mind. We haven't even known each other a year and already have a connection that I can't say parallels with any other connection that I have or have had with anyone else. Like I said, mind blowing. I'd like to think that I'm not being naive, as I have never (in any recent years) been one to do so about these things, but I'm quite confident that I'm not. The facts don't lie. If the relationship were to end tomorrow, I would still deem it my most successful. Hands down. I've learned more about one single person, about myself, and about people in general, in the last eight or so months than I ever have in the past. She's been through so much, and has more strength than anyone else I know. She knows what she wants out of life, and is thankful for everything that she has. Including me. And I love her very much for that <3.

And this concludes probably the largest blog I will ever write. I hope that I will now be able to update more frequently, so as to not have to do this in the future.

I shall leave with some lyrics by the almighty Devin. These lyrics don't have any specific significance for me, but they've been in my head all day, and it's a really good line.

All the worlds a stage and we are home again.

And then we found it all caged inside a dream

As I've said many times, I'm quite bad at updating this. I have had an excuse for the last few days though, as i was barely home between Wednesday and Sunday. The highlight of that time was my love's sister's sweet 16.

Aided by a constant supply of Jack and Cokes that were fed to me by none other than my girlfriend's father, I had quite a good time. Over the course of the weekend, I was introduced to much of the family, and all were quite welcoming in their greetings. It made me feel quite accepted, and it's good to know that not only does my girlfriend appreciate me, but she communicates this to her family, which causes them to do so as well.

The semester is at it's midpoint. I've gotten a substantial amount of work done thus far, and I'm planning out the rest as best I can. As stressful as it was to start, I know that as long as I keep pushing through, I'll be just fine and make it to the end without a problem.

I still need to see Saw VI. And re-watch the other five before I do so.

I've been wanting to make salmon salad for weeks and still need to.

My girlfriend is absolutely and unequivocally amazing <3

Oh and I've been listening to a lot of Scar Symmetry lately, and felt that these lyrics bare some significance to my life currently. Kind of how I've moved past things onto bigger and better ones, and looking back and wondering why I didn't do so sooner. The paths may be unknown, but I'm damn sure that they're good.

Now it's time to turn the page we've waited for so long
Waiting for the dawn to come when we control the sun
Now it's time to go beyond, revealing the concealed
Leaving all the things we know to view the paths unknown

Many good things to say....

But not enough time to say them! Busy busy. Hopefully I will update tomorrow night or Tuesday.

Time will not heal, all of your pain. I cannot wait until it all comes crashing...

Wow I'm really bad at updating this lately.

I had a realization about fear yesterday. It is quite difficult for us to understand why were used to be afraid of something once we actually overcome it. At one point, we may cringe even at the thought of something, but once we have conquered that fear, we often cannot understand how we were once afraid. This doesn't apply in all situations, but quite often with fears that are 'grown out of'.

It baffles me how some people set themselves up to get hurt, almost as if they want it to happen. They put themselves in situations that they know (and have openly stated) would be detrimental to them, and yet choose to stay rooted in that situation until it's inevitable fallout. Even when it falls out, they tend to return for more abuse later on. Such self-masochist behavior seems, to me, to be caused by many other underlying issues.

I'm looking forward to this weekend and the next. Party time and Halloween time! Both with my love! <3

Some people will make damn good listeners, but bad psychologists.

The first born narcissist theory is true. Or at least in this case.

The album Shogun gets better and better the more I listen to it.

I enjoy the smell of both freshly cut grass and gasoline, especially in the same day.

Stop writing sex mail if you have a fucking Jesus lanyard.

In the Valley of Cherrys, I consume the Congo

I just finished one of my many papers this semester, and have decided to take a little break before I move on to other work. Which means time to blog.

I have three exciting weekends coming up. This coming weekend is Comic Con, where my inner nerd can run free and I can blow all of my money on useless merchandise. The following weekend, I get to spend time with my love at her sister's sweet 16 and consume lots of fancy food, as well as cake. The weekend after is Halloween, which means mass chaos and shenanigans, as well at the release of Saw VI. Once all of this schoolwork is done, I'm quite sure October with be an enjoyable month.

I'm stumped as to how Cherry Valley makes their sandwiches so damn good.

I made a Twitter recently and I'm quite enjoying it. It's quite convenient to update from my phone, and I find myself doing so when I see or overhear a funny quote or an interesting conversation. I expected it to be quite similar to Facebook, but it's a lot more unique than i previously thought.

Exivious: Jazz fusion progressive metal band. Fucking sweet.

Hiyah!

Finally a Real Entry

Geez it's been a while. Loads of school work. But now that I finally have the time, there's a lot I'd like to say. Hopefully I can remember it all.

The first thing that comes to mind is something I've been lacking lately, sleep. I'm not even going to talk about dreams right now (I think I may have a while ago), but just the concept of sleep itself. Sleep is something I quite enjoy. I keep my room like an icebox year round just so that it feels even warmer under the covers. To immerse yourself in sleep is to detract yourself from the world and let your body (pretty much) shut off. It's such an interesting concept that so many of us enjoy a state that is the closest, non harmful state to death. Even more so since we dislike waking up. You'd think it would be a joy to us to return to the mobile world, but we really do enjoy our detachment.

Recently, the cold weather has really been making it's way into the weather forecast. Although not brutally cold, some days warrant at least a light sweatshirt. I find the cold weather to be quite bittersweet. The cold itself doesn't necessarily bother me, but the winter time itself usually puts me in a somewhat negative mood. The thing that I dislike the most is the fact that it gets darker earlier. I'm not really sure why this bothers me, unless I have some unconscious psychological urge for light (which doesn't sound completely crazy), but it's something that I always notice and wait diligently for it to change at the end of the season.

This may just be me, but have you ever noticed the change in light when a tree in your neighborhood is cut down? You don't notice until it happens, but the sunlight shines through the trees in very particular ways that we come to be familiar with. When the tree is gone, the light shines completely differently. It's something I've always noticed since I was a kid, and realized how we never notice something like that until it changes.

There's several other topics that I've been thinking about, but this is good for now. I'm quite content.

Speaking of being content, I'm more than content with life currently. Happy times. As usually, several little issues, but nothing I can really complain about. The good things are definitely tipping the scale.

I'm really into Porcupine Tree lately.

I made a twitter because I'm tired of Facebook not functioning. Follow me! (down to the valley below. See! Porcupine Tree!)

I've rediscovered the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Oh and Nutella. Good stuff.